Breaking Bad

Breaking Bad has been on my radar since it started in 2008.  At the time, Mad Men had only been on the air for one year and AMC hadn't established the fan base that it now holds with Breaking Bad, Mad Men, The Walking Dead and others.  I didn't start watching Breaking Bad until a few years ago when my friend told me there was a scene in the first season that made her want to puke.  This particular scene involved a dead body, acid, a bath tub and a plan-gone-wrong situation.  That was enough to make me watch the first season.  I liked the premise and the writing but early into the second season I was bored with the pacing and decided to stop watching.  Fast forward to season 4 when every Sunday night on Twitter all everyone could talk about was Breaking Bad.  I decided I had to give it another try and I'm sure glad I did.

Once you get over the hump of late season 2 into early season 3, things really start to pick up.   This show is very raw and seems to portray an accurate picture of the crystal meth production business and all that goes along with it. 

The evolution of Walter White has been incredible.  Beginning as an awkward, bumbling, nervous school teacher, Walt has transformed from the hero nice guy into Heisenberg...the cook.  My favorite episodes of the series were "Half Measures" and "Full Measure".  Though those episodes didn't feature the most prominent deaths, they were, in my opinion, the deaths that made it impossible for Walt and Jesse to ever go back or try to deny what they had become.  And speaking of Jesse...

Jesse Pinkman has become one of my favorite TV characters of all time, which is saying a lot considering how many shows I watch and have watched.  Aaron Paul expertly portrays Jesse Pinkman and should win every award for which he is nominated and he should be nominated for every award for which he is eligible.  To go from super emotional edge of your seat drama (visiting Gale, questioning "Mr. White" about Brock) to the most awkward and/or hilarious situation (dinner table with Walt and Skyler; "Yeah Mr. White, Yeah Science!") takes some serious talent. 

Much like my "Lost" marathon in 2009, I watched (most of) Breaking Bad in record time.  If you aren't watching this show you have 1 year to get caught up before what are sure to be a mind blowing final 8 episodes next summer. 

The Bachelor Premiere and a Letter to Anna

It's that time again.  The time of year when we all argue with ourselves about whether or not we are going to watch this season of The Bachelor.  First you say to yourself, "no, I'm not watching it.  The Bachelor is so incredibly dumb and cheesy I WILL NOT waste any more of my life or brain cells watching this dumb dumb show."  Then you begin to see previews for the premiere and you start to reconsider, "oh yeah, I did feel pretty sorry for Ben last season.  I do kind of want him to end up happy.  No, no, no!!!  Don't give in!  This is how they get us.  They recycle the same people so you keep watching.  I WILL NOT watch."  Then it is the night of the first show and the only other thing on TV is the 400th football game of the week or Suzanne Somers on the home shopping network so you think, "ok, I'll just watch this episode, just to see if there are any interesting people but I definitely won't tell anyone that I am watching" and BOOM, you're hooked.  And you find yourself blogging about this dumb show again.

A few notes from Episode 1:

What is the deal with Lindzi and Lyndsie spelling their names like that?  Yes, I realize their parents named them but still.  What is the world coming to?

Lots of fake eyelashes this season.  Is the competition really so fierce that women now must resort to adding extra pieces of hair to their faces?  In 200 years anthropologists are going to be very confused by the fake eyelash trend.

"Babe, Welcome to Dumpsville, population YOU".  There is no way that actually happened.

I realized during this episode, as I was completely zoning out, that the sit down with Chris Harrison just before the limos pull up is the exact same conversation on every season.  Here are some of the highlights (if you think back to ANY of the previous bachelors and bachelorettes you will agree that it is the same): "when I was on the show last season the emotions were real; I was hurt but I learned a lot about myself and now I'm really ready to open up and give love a chance; yes, if I find the right person I think I will be in a place to propose at the end of this journey, blah blah blah"

I choose not to comment on the Carrie Bradshaw love blogger girl crying in the bathroom or the ponytail girl getting a little too friendly with the girl with big teeth.

And now...A letter to Anna:

Dear Anna,

(slow clap)  Nice.  Nice.  Although it didn't end up working out for you, walking straight past Ben without introducing yourself or saying anything at all was a very creative move.  I tip my (gigantic Kentucky Derby) hat to you.

Karen

Boardwalk Empire Season 2 Finale

Warning: Game of Thrones and Boardwalk Empire Spoilers below

HBO and I are not friends right now.  We had a bit of a falling out a few months back when they killed Ned and Khal Drogo on Game of Thrones.  I wasn't too terribly upset over Ned, just shocked that they would kill what appeared to be THE main character.  Poor Drogo, that was a different story.  I was so upset.  Then I realized it was not actually HBO that killed them, it was George R.R. Martin who authored the Game of Thrones books.  I apologized to HBO and we were friends again. 

But now....I don't know if I can recover from what they did on Boardwalk Empire. 

I kind of wish I had a picture of how I looked when Nucky killed Jimmy.  In the moments leading up to the shooting I was thinking that at the last minute Nucky would shoot Manny instead and it would turn out to be a double-double cross.  But noooooo.  Poor Jimmy.  Yes, he cheated on his wife, he killed lots of people, he slept with his mother but somehow he was the most likable character on the show.  And any redeeming qualities that Nucky had were tossed out the window when he shot Jimmy, twice, in the head.  Rothstein said to Nucky, "Flip a coin.  When it's in the air you'll know which side you're hoping for."  I love that; but I do not love that Nucky was hoping for the side that ended with Jimmy dead in the rain.  The only person left alive at the end of season 2 that I like is Richard Harrow.  I'm interested to see what they do with his character since the only two people who really cared about him are now dead. 

So HBO, thanks a lot.  Jerks. 

Desensitized

Believe it or not, I used to be pretty sensitive.  Well, sensitive to some things at least.  I remember when I was about 10 years old I was in the car with my parents driving through Dallas.  We passed a big building with no windows.  The neon sign above the door of this building read, "The Crystal Palace".  There were no crystals on the exterior of this building and it in no way resembled what I would consider a palace.  I remember asking my parents what sort of establishment the Crystal Palace was and they informed me that it was a strip club.  I had heard about strip clubs before but this was the first time I had actually seen one.  (Sidenote:  I had driven by the billboard on I-35 for Cabaret Royale several time but always thought it was a clothing store where they only sold leather pants and gold bikini tops)  For some reason, seeing a real live strip club, even just from the outside, was very upsetting to me.  Like I said, I was sensitive. 

Fast forward 7 years...

My parents would not let me watch R rated movies until I was 17.   It was more about the violence than the foul language or lewd behavior.  I think they were trying to protect my innocent little eyes and didn't want me to have nightmares.  I have always had a very guilty conscience and therefore actually obeyed this rule rather than just going to my friends' houses to watch the R rated feature films like everyone else did.  I remember making a declaration around the time of my 16th birthday:  "Fine!  If you won't let me watch R rated movies until I'm 17, I'll just keep a list of all the movies I am going to watch and as soon as I turn 17 I'm going to start watching them all right in a row and never stop!!!"  (storms off to room, considers slamming door then remembers guilty conscience and closes door gently).  I pretty much followed through on that declaration and haven't stopped watching violent movies since I was 17.

Fast forward another 13 years...

I know this makes me sound like a sociopath but I really like violent movies and TV shows.  I don't like the violence per se but I tend to enjoy the story lines of movies and shows that also have violence.  Make sense?  I recently realized that I have been completely desensitized to violence on TV.  A few weeks ago my friends asked me about the show Boardwalk Empire.  (which I really like)  They said they heard it was good but that it was kind of gory.  I thought about it for a minute and nothing was coming to mind about the show that would make me consider it overly gory.  I told them it was fine and not too violent other than the common occurence of throat slashing.  The very next episode had a guy get scalped and another guy get beat to death (in the face) with a wrench.  So, maybe it is a bit gory afterall.  Oops. 

So what is the point?  2 things: if you are wondering if something is violent I am not a good person to ask, also, if my parents had only let me watch R rated movies when I was younger I wouldn't have started my 10 year long parade of R rated movies and TV shows and would therefore not be so unbothered by violence and gore now.  So there. 

 

My Opinion On: Up All Night, New Girl, Free Agents

Let's start with the best and work our way down, shall we?

Up All Night 
If there was a show about a guy who just sat there and drank glasses of water and didn't really do anything other than drink water and blink occasionally BUT the part of the guy was played by Will Arnett, I would watch that show.  Up All Night not only has Will Arnett but also Maya Rudolph AND a premise to which I can relate.  Also, I was happy to see that Lorne Michaels is the executive producer.

There were two scenes that I found particularly funny:

1. Reagan and Chris each accusing the other of being asleep while they were awake with the baby.  I have had that conversation many times.  "I could see that you were asleep because my eyes were completely open because I was wide awake"

2. After getting very little sleep, Chris offers Reagan one million dollars to go take care of the baby when she starts crying.  I have had this conversation many times as well.

I give this show 2 thumbs up and will indeed be watching again next week.



New Girl
If you aren't aware, itunes has the pilot episode of this show available as a free download right now.  I have mixed feelings about this one.  Don't get me wrong, Zooey Deschanel  is great.  She plays her same old quirky, lovable character but has added a little extra geeky-ness that I really like.  I like the character of Nick and the actor they chose to play him.  I like the Damon Wayans Jr. character (even though he has been replaced with a different actor since he is shooting Happy Endings) but I do not like that his name is Coach.  My biggest, and maybe only, problem with this show is the actor that plays the part of Schmidt.  I don't like him, he bothers me.

Overall though I enjoyed the premiere.  The positives of Zooey Deschanel greatly outweigh the negatives of other cast members.  I have the same habit of making up songs for every aspect of my life (cooking dinner, tying my shoes, shopping for cheese etc.) and it was nice to see this awesome personality trait displayed on the show.

I give it 1.5 thumbs up and will watch again next week.

Free Agents
This one hasn't been publicized as much as some other new shows.  I didn't have very high expectations going into the premiere and unfortunately my low expectations may not have been low enough.  I like Hank Azaria and some of the other supporting cast.  This is the perfect example of a show that may take a few weeks to get into its groove.  You know that episode of Seinfeld where Jerry is dating the girl who sometimes is beautiful and sometimes is weird looking?  I felt like that's how it was for Kathryn Hahn in this show.

Free agents gets 1 thumb at a 45 degree angle but I will give it at least one more episode.

Fall TV Schedule Reveal

In my defense, let me just say that I am relatively certain I will drop several of these shows by about mid-October.  I always start with a bunch of the new shows at the beginning knowing that only about 10% - 25% of them will make the official cut.  I will give pretty much any show at least 2 episodes to entertain me, if after 2 episodes it is still dumb and/or boring I stop watching.

That being said, here is the less complicated version of my spreadsheet.  I did not feel it was necessary to display start date, time and channel on here...just day of the week and title of show.  Which old shows are you looking forward to seeing again?  Which new shows most interest you?  Hmmmmm???

Fall 2011 TV Schedule

Monday

How I Met Your Mother

2 Broke Girls

Castle

Terra Nova

House

Real Housewives

Tuesday

Biggest Loser

Man Up

New Girl

Tosh.O

Wednesday

Suburgatory

Modern Family

Happy Endings

Up All Night

Criminal Minds

The X Factor

Free Agents

CSI

American Horror Story 

Thursday

How to Be a Gentleman

Person of Interest

The Office

Community

Project Runway

Friday

Grimm

The Soup

Say Yes to the Dress

Saturday

SNL

The Nerdist

Sunday

Once Upon a Time

Boardwalk Empire

Hell on Wheels 

The Walking Dead 

Pan Am

New Shows Just Around the Corner

Sorry for the lengthy hiatus.  This has been a busy summer for me with work and I have neglected to update the blog, but rest assured my TV watching has not slowed down one bit. This time of year is very exciting for me.  The new fall TV season is right around the corner!  I have completed a rough draft of my TV spreadsheet but I still have a bit more research to do.

Last year I dropped a few shows that I had been loyal to for years and years.  This year it doesn't look like I will be dropping any of my shows and will, of course, be adding more.  I know what you are thinking, how can I add more shows without dropping any?  Well, just like every year, some of the shows I watched last season have ended or been cancelled making room for new ones!

I don't want to reveal my spreadsheet until it is finished but I will let you know that as of today there are 30 shows on there.  I will be posting a summer show recap soon; just a brief update of what I have been watching for the past couple of months.  Thanks again for reading this.  Hopefully we can all find some new good shows (or bad ones) and discuss them this fall.

The Bachelorette: Fantasy Suites

The last three gentlemen turned into three and a half with the return of Ryan.  I kind of wonder why the producers let him come back.  It seems like that is not a good precedent to set for the show if any ol' random dismissed contestant can come back and stalk the bachelorette.

The first date was with Ben.  Like most of the dates with Ben, this one was pretty boring.  Lots of talk about how they are connecting and building on their relationship yada, yada, yada.  The sultry sunscreen rubbing scene was..uh..interesting? My favorite line of this part of the show was when Ashley said (regarding the fantasy suite), "I'm hoping Ben will SHOW me how he feels".  Hello!  At least she isn't trying to pretend that the fantasy suite is anything other than a place to do the dirty.  Some past bachelors and bachelorettes have tried to play up the fact that this is the only time they have together away from cameras to really "talk".  If "talking" was the actual intent of the fantasy suite, then they could just as easily have a fantasy canoe or a fantasy game of pinochle.

Just like last week with Ames, we all knew that Constantine would be departing this week, just not necessarily like that.  My theory is that Constantine's buddies dared him to try out for the show.  Once he got on he figured he might as well go through with it because it was basically an all expense paid vacation.  Then, Ashley started to like him and he realized he better get out before it gets too awkward.  I think what he did is perfectly respectable.  Bye Constantine!  You were nice but you DO need to get rid of the euro-mullet, like you said.

The date with JP was more of the same that always happens at this phase of the show: "I'm falling in love with her, our relationship is so strong, I can't wait for the end, I can really see a future between us".  Boring.  Anyone else notice that JP was rockin' some sweet mandals at the rose ceremony?

And now, another letter to Ryan:

Dear Ryan,

I know YOU thought coming back to the show was so romantic.  However, WE thought it was sad...and not a good kind of sad, more of a pathetic kind of sad.  At the beginning of the show, were you walking all the way across Fiji?  My goodness, you seemed to be walking forever.  I hated in your interview, before Ashely dumped you for a second time, how you were saying you really feel a connection between the two of you.  If she had felt the same thing she most likely would not have sent you packing.  Does she need to hire protection to keep you away from her house or have you finally taken the hint?  Good luck to you buddy.  Hopefully you can find that special someone to be overly energetic with all the time.

This is the last time I want to write to you,
Karen

The Bachelorette: Meet the Parents

Usually at this point in the season there is still at least one super annoying person that you can't wait to see go home.  That is not the case this time.  I really like all 4 of the guys she had left going into this episode.

Constantine
I guess when Constantine said he was a restaurant owner I was expecting a posh downtown eatery with no open reservations for weeks.  Instead, "Giorgio's" looked like it was in a strip mall.  Not that there is anything wrong with that, just not what I was expecting.  Their date started with the Bachelor franchise mandatory running-start hug.  I can't remember the last time one of the home town dates started without the girl and guy running toward each other and ending in a hug.  Why do they always get dropped off so far away?  Can't the car or airport shuttle just drop the Bachelorette off right where her date is standing?  I have a sneaking suspicion that Constantine's family was hired from the set of My Big Fat Greek Wedding.  They all seemed to have a lot of fun and I definitely laughed when his dad started "makin' it rain" with dollar bills.  That was kind of random.

Ben
Ben really put the pressure on Ashley by immediately declaring that if his family didn't like her, then he was out.  Most of the families seemed very welcoming even though they had reservations about the whole scenario.  Ben's mother and sister didn't come off quite so welcoming and instead appeared overly protective and a bit unfriendly.  You know how people sometimes talk about the ugly cry?  Like when you are crying really hard and your face gets all contorted and you look hideous?  Whatever the opposite of the ugly cry is, that is what Ben was doing in his interview.  Maybe I will coin the term beautiful weep.  So Ben was totally beautiful weeping with the slowly falling tear drops and the increased blinking.  If Ashley doesn't choose him at the end of this, that interview alone will have ladies lined up around the block.

Ames
Oh Ames.  Sweet Ames.  What a nice guy.  It was so obvious that she admired him more than she was attracted to him.  His sister seemed to be talking to Ashley for like 5 hours which definitely cut into Ames' one-on-one time.  His magnolia tree picnic and description of Renaissance era romance was so sweet but you could tell she just wasn't feeling it.

JP
Based on this episode, I have come to the conclusion that every skating rink around the country looks EXACTLY the same.  Ashley has really, really tiny feet.  Did you notice the size of her skates?  I think they were Barbie size.  She had a case of "make-out chin" (definition: where a girl's chin gets all red from making out with a guy with a beard or stubble) happening while she and JP were talking at the rink.  That picture of JP from his bar mitzvah was awesome.

Rose Ceremony
This one was hard to watch.  Actually, I had to look away when it got down to the last two.  We all knew Ames was going home, well, all of us except for Ames.  I hate when they keep cutting the camera to the poor sap waiting to see if he is getting that last rose.  And he is standing there smiling like a doofus.  At least Ashley gave him a nice goodbye handshake (awkward) when they were sitting on that bench.  And why is the pavement in front of that mansion ALWAYS wet?

Rumor has it that Ames is going to be on Bachelor Pad so that's at least something.

Curb Your Enthusiasm

Several years ago, when I had HBO the first time, I got absolutely hooked on Curb Your Enthusiasm.  If you like Seinfeld, you have to like Curb because it is basically the same concept except with different characters.  It has been a few seasons since I have watched, mostly due to the fact that I have been without HBO.

The new season started last week so I decided to jump back in and see if I could follow the story.  I forgot how much I love this show!!  So funny.  After I finished the season premiere I immediately went back and watched every episode available On Demand which sadly was only five.

The best surprise of the last season was the Seinfeld story line.  Curb Your Enthusiasm follows Larry David, creator of Seinfeld, as he lives his life as Larry David, the creator of Seinfeld.  One of the story lines from last season was a fictional Seinfeld reunion show including all of the actors from Seinfeld playing themselves.  So over the course of a few episodes you basically get a real life Seinfeld reunion.  We find out that George went on to invent the iToilet app which allows the user to find the nearest acceptable public toilet.  He then loses his fortune in the Bernie Madoff ponzi scheme.  Kramer is still Kramer and Elaine has a daughter thanks to a "donation" (wink, wink) from Jerry.

If you are a Seinfeld fan, and you haven't had a chance to watch Curb Your Enthusiasm, add it to your Netflix queue.  You won't be disappointed.

The Bachelorette - Down to 4 and a Letter to Ryan

This episode started with Constantine and Ashley hopping on the Hogwarts Express to get to their date.  There were a lot of references to hopes and dreams and wishes this week beginning with Constantine and Ashley writing their hopes for the future on that lantern thing.  I hope everybody stuck around at the end of the show to see the clip of the dog peeing on their lantern.  They should put that kind of thing in the actual episode instead of tacking it on at the end as an outtake. 

The next date was with Ben and it was so boring that I already forgot what they did.  Oh yeah, mopeds.  Yawn.

Date number 3 was the always uncomfortable group date.  Those were some of the worst photos ever.  I think my junior prom pictures looked more professional than that.  The backdrop they used for the JP and Ashley pictures looked like it had been wadded up in a closet for a year.  It had all of the lines showing from where it was folded.  That was funny.  I did learn a few things on that date though: 1)  JP says the f-word a lot.  2) Ames has a "unique" sense of style.  I think he felt right at home in the peach ruffled see through shirt and pale blue rhinestone tuxedo. 

And now, a letter to Ryan.

Dearest Ryan,

Hey there!  How are the solar panels?  Good?  Great.  Listen, sorry you got dumped.  I guess those magic apple slice shaped pieces of metal that you threw on the ground were right.  I know you were "really falling for her" even though that was technically your first date.  You took all of your criticism pretty well which is good since people were criticizing you for always being in a good mood.  A little pointer, perhaps a 10 minute story about hot water heaters is not the best or most romantic thing for a first date.  I could be wrong, but I think when Ashley asked for a tip on being more green she was looking for something along the lines of "bring your own bag to the grocery store" not a history of water heaters and their function in the home.  I did feel extra sorry for you when they had you walk all around the city looking sad after you got booted.  That must have been very depressing.

Regards,
Karen

Toddlers & Tiaras

I have seen this show a couple of times in the past but will mostly be reviewing the episode I saw the other night.  If you don't know anything about the show, it follows 3 or 4 pageant contestants and their parents as they prepare for a specific pageant.  This episode was the Southern Celebrity pageant.  I found it interesting that the Southern Celebrity pageant was held in the quintessential southern town of Chicago.

There are 2 kinds of pageants: natural and glitz.  Natural pageants are a little more toned down where the kids wear makeup but not Tammy Faye Bakker amounts of makeup.  The Southern Celebrity pageant was a glitz pageant so the girls were expected to really do it up big with fake hair, fake teeth, fake tans and super bedazzled outfits.  One of the mothers claimed that there are "tons and tons of rumors that my daughter can't do glitz pageants".  My first question would have to be, who are these people taking the time to spread rumors about the glitz-ability of your elementary age daughter?  Clearly there is a seedy underworld of rumor spreading associated with children's beauty circuit.

In order to prepare for the big day, each of the featured contestants went in for a spray tan and tamed their brows.  One of the little girls cried as her mother ripped her eyebrow hairs right out of her face with a pair of tweezers.  The loving mother soothed her daughter by saying, "that's what you get for shaving your eyebrows for two years".  Just to be clear, I assume it was not so much the daughter who was shaving her own eyebrows but more likely the mother shaving the little girl's eyebrows because to be a true pageant princess you mustn't have a unibrow!

This episode also featured a very special contestant, Brock.  The first thing Brock's mother said to the camera was "Brock is a diva".  Brock, by the way, is a boy.   It was clear to me (and his mother echoed this statement) that Brock is just Brock.  I will not make fun of this kid because I fear he gets a lot of that.  I will, however, give you a few facts about him.

1. Brock takes his dolls, Lexie and Rebecca, with him everywhere.  He said Lexie is like him because she has a lot of sparkle.
2. Brock LOVES dancing.  He hopes to be on Broadway.
3. Brock was the only male contestant.  When he won, he was given the choice between the boy's crown and the girl's crown...he chose the girl's crown.

About pageants in general:
I don't understand why the style of smiling and walking and winking and dancing that takes place in pageants is considered desirable.  If I walked around my everyday life winking at people and smiling without blinking they would put me in the psych ward.  Maybe as an experiment I will spend an entire day walking with my arms out at a 30 degree angle (so as not to crinkle my gigantic skirt) and kiss my index finger and point it at people.  Perhaps someone will give me an enormous gaudy crown.  More likely they will move away from me as quickly as possible.

James Spader joins "The Office"

I, for one, am not too concerned that Steve Carell left The Office.  I think they have enough quirkiness left over to sustain the laughs.  I am a loyal fan of The Office and have stuck with it through highs and lows.  The season finale with the parade of celebrities was a high for some and a low for others.

I love James Spader.  Alan Shore from Boston Legal is arguably one of the best characters in the history of television.  He brings new meaning to the term quirky and is a big ball of weird.  After months of speculation NBC finally announced that Spader will be joining the cast this fall.  Rumor has it that he will start as branch manager in Scranton and then almost immediately move to corporate to take over for Jo.

I think the best part about James Spader is that he has all of America convinced that the characters he often plays on TV and in movies is how he is in real life.  Can someone really be that creepy and uncomfortable?  On behalf of the remaining fans of The Office I humbly welcome Spader in his role as Robert California and am hoping he will have lots of screen time!!

HBO and Game of Thrones

Recently a friend told me about HBO GO.  I am a little ashamed that I hadn't already heard about it since I claim to be a TV addict and this is the type of thing a TV addict should know about.  If you are unaware of the greatness of HBO GO let me enlighten you.  If you have HBO through your cable provider then you can sign in to HBO GO on your computer/phone/ipad etc. and stream any episode of any original HBO series.  Yes folks, it's true.  You can watch The Sopranos, Entourage, Boardwalk Empire, True Blood, Eastbound and Down, Extras and so on at the touch of a button.  Plus tons of movies are available as well.

We immediately called Time Warner to reinstate our HBO service.  We have been without HBO for some time now because "we" (my husband) cancelled our service the day after the series finale of The Sopranos.  Within minutes we were able to watch HBO on our TV.  Hurrah!  I got out my ipad to set up the HBO GO service only to find that Time Warner cable is NOT one of the providers that supports HBO GO.  Boooooo!!  Disappointment day.

Luckily, HBO has been reshowing the entire first season of their new show Game of Thrones.  I had been hearing buzz about this show but didn't know much about it other than Boromir from Lord of the Rings was one of the main characters.  I decided to give it a go, especially since the first season only has 10 episodes so it wouldn't take too long to get caught up.

Much like any other HBO series, there is an abundance of violence, swearing and naked ladies.  If you can get past some of that, Game of Thrones is quite enthralling.  I'm only 6 episodes in, but I can't wait to finish the season.  Peter Dinklage is fantastic.

The top 3 most shocking/uncomfortable/squirm worthy scenes so far:

1. Gregor Clegane, also known as "The Mountain", loses a joust.  "The Mountain" is (supposed to be) over 8 feet tall and is not used to losing battles.  In a fit of rage he uses his sword to chop off the head of his horse.  Lots of blood spurting everywhere.

2. The Queen is caught doing the wonky donk with Jamie Lannister, who happens to be her BROTHER!  Gross.

3.  Probably the worst scene so far was when we first met Lysa Arryn and her son Robin. We see Lysa sitting on a throne breastfeeding her son.  Ok, so breastfeeding in public is a little cringeworthy for some people but not completely shocking right?  Well, it is if your son is 10 years old!  I just keep thinking about the actor who plays little Robin.  Certainly his friends know he is on this show and will want to watch him on TV.  How embarrassing that this is his first scene.  Ew.  Actually, all of his scenes are a little bit creepy.  Let's hope he is just a great actor rather than just a really creepy kid.

The Challenge: Rivals - Same Stuff Different Season

When I got back from vacation and checked my DVR I was ecstatic to find that the first episode of Rivals was waiting for me!  I had forgotten that the premiere was one while I was gone.  If you remember from my earlier post I LOVE this show.  I guess Real World/Road Rules Challenge was too much of a mouthful because for the past several years it has been shortened to simply "The Challenge" with some tag to designate the season: rivals, cutthroat, fresh meat, the gauntlet etc.

The first episode was all I had hoped for and more!  The contestants show up and immediately find out that  they will be in teams of two and that their partner will be none other than their biggest rival (hence the name of the show).  Host TJ Lavin then went on to explain the rules of the show, which, as I predicted, were confusing and complicated.

What is always baffling to me is how the same situations happen season after season even though the people keep changing.  It's as if none of the returning contestants remember what happened in previous seasons and none of the new players bothered to watch the show before coming on it.

Example #1: On the very first night everyone gets completely trashed.  This has never not happened.  One of the rookie players got pulled into an argument with another guy who was making fun of him.  Everyone in the house is holding the rookie back and telling him to just let it go, but does he listen?  No.  He punches the other guy and immediately gets sent home.  Dummy.  I have gone my entire life without punching anyone, he couldn't even make it 24 hours.  While running to punch the other guy he also manages to knock over one of the girls who lands on her head on the concrete floor.

Example #2: Mandi (who is relatively new to the show, I think this is her third season) starts talking to CT and flirting with him.  Then in her confessional segment, she starts talking about how CT is so hot and how she likes him a lot yada yada yada.  Obviously she has never seen CT on television before.  If they pieced together all of the MTV clips of CT when he was not drunk, or punching someone, or yelling at someone or being completely misogynistic, they would have about 5 minutes worth of material.  Should be interesting to see what happens there but I have a pretty good guess it isn't going to go well.

Example #3: Robin and Aneesa, who have to be in their sixties by now with all of the challenges they have done, are targeted to go into the jungle round.  The argument is that they are a strong team and are "the only ones who have a chance" of taking out powerhouse Evelyn who lost the challenge and has to go to elimination with her partner Paula.  (Are you still with me?)  Anyway, Robin and Aneesa are shocked that people are plotting against them instead volunteering to go into the elimination themselves.  Hello.  First of all, they have both done that about a hundred times to other people.  Also, when has anyone ever volunteered to go into the elimination especially on the first episode?  It's just silly.

So not a lot has changed from last season, or the season before that or the season before that.  I guess if you add alcohol to a house full of dummies you are always going to end up with a bunch of crazy people.

The Bachelorette - dot, dot, dot and a letter to Blake

To me, this was the week of awkwardness: awkward kisses, awkward silences, awkward conversations and awkward reactions. Let's start with the kisses. Lucas started off the weirdness by saying to Ashley, "I'm going to kiss you. Do you mind?". That totally ruined the moment if there even was a moment at all. Next was Ames and the uncomfortable elevator kiss which was made worse with the cheesy Kung Fu movie music playing in the background. Then there was Ben. He leaned in for the kiss, then stopped mid-lean, then moved forward again, then stopped and finally planted one on target. Seems like the only non-awkward kiss of the night was with JP. I guess I lost count after that but she was making out with at least 4 different guys in the span of about 3 days. Classy.

What was going on with all of the see-through shirts?  Is that a fashion trend that I just don't know about?  I understand maybe one or two, but Ashley wore like thirty seven see-through shirts this week.  Speaking of shirts, did anyone else notice that Ames was wearing a button up collared shirt with another button up collared shirt on top of it?  

Other thoughts...

I never want to hear the phrase "dot, dot, dot" ever again.

Sheesh, they sure overreacted about the Bentley thing.  I found it amusing that Blake was ok with her dating seven other guys, but eight, eight was too many.  Lucas better get the boot next week.  I bet if she hadn't already given him a rose she would have sent him home.

I recently noticed that most of the dinners on the dates take place on the floor.  Rarely are they sitting at a real table.  I bet they have to be careful with the camera angles so that they don't get any shots of people's butt cracks.

And now, a brief letter to Blake:

Dear Blake,
Maybe if you had spent more time with Ashley and less time talking about Ryan you might still be on the show.

Bye,
Karen

The Killing - Season Finale

AMC’s "The Killing" is based on a Danish show called Forbrydelsen.  I guess they thought Forbrydelsen wasn't catchy enough for the American audience.  Unlike most crime dramas, it stays with the same crime for the entire season instead of solving a different case every episode.  This series was intriguing to me from the beginning because it follows the police investigation as well as the lives of the families and all of the suspects.  The first couple of episodes were really great.  The plot kept you captivated by throwing you plenty of juicy pieces of evidence.  I've been around my fair share of crime shows and I am smart enough to know that the first suspect (or in this case the first several) is never guilty.  Toward the middle of the season there were some boring episodes but overall the show was pretty entertaining.

The protagonist of the show is detective Sarah Linden played by Mireille Enos.  Since she is the main character, I assume she is the protagonist but I never really liked her.  Her whole back story is that she is trying to leave town to marry this guy but she can't pull herself away from this one last case.  Come on lady!  You seriously wouldn't miss that many planes and waste all of that money on last minute airfare, especially on a police detective salary.  Also, she consistently has her hair in my second to least favorite style:  a slick back ponytail with no part.  (For those who are interested, my number one least favorite hairstyle is cornrows braided backwards with long wisps down the neck).

So, knowing that this was the season finale, I was excited to find out once and for all who  killed Rosie Larson!  Last week they dropped the bomb that councilman Darren Richmond was the lead suspect and this episode was spent trying to find sufficient evidence to prove he did it.  I was a little disappointed that he turned out to be the killer but was glad they were wrapping things up.  But wait!!  What's that?  We find out in the last 2 minutes that the evidence was fake?  Then Belko, played by Brendan Sexton III (side note: my now deceased family cat was named after his role in Empire Records as Warren) walks up to the councilman as he is being put into a police car, pulls out a gun and BOOM!  Gunshot!  Black screen!

I HATE this.  I hate that I waited all season to find out who the killer was and then just when I thought I did, they leave it all open ended.  I hate that now I have to wait for almost a whole year for the next episode and will definitely forget all of the details between now and then.  I especially hate that last time I checked, AMC hadn't even agreed to pick up the show for a second season.  So I guess we may never know who killed Rosie.   

NBC's The Voice

What happened?  This show started out really strong:  neat premise, a ton of talented singers and cool chairs that spin around.  Just like the normal trend for NBC shows, The Voice is going downhill fast.  The singers that are left are terrible.  Terrible.  In the battle rounds they kept sending home all of the talented people and leaving the weirdos.  The most entertaining part of the show is Adam Levine's burning hatred for Christina Aguilera which he doesn't even attempt to conceal.  Christina keeps wearing more and more makeup and hair extensions when she should be wearing less and less.  Cee Lo debuted a pedophile style mustache this week and took all of the members of his team to a spa where they sat around in robes telling each other how great they all are.  I am quitting this show STAT.  If I had a fondness for country crooners or bald ladies I might stick it out, but I do not, so I shan't.

MTV's Real World/Road Rules Challenge

When I was growing up, I did not have cable television.  I was limited to NBC, CBS, ABC, Fox, PBS and "Channel 39" which seemed to only show episodes of Hogan's Heroes.  Sure, I still had TGIF, Charles in Charge, Saved by the Bell, ALF and other great family programs but I knew there were other shows out there calling my name.  If it was up to my mom, we would have just watched Matlock and Perry Mason all the time.  In order to get my cable TV fix I would have to go over to a friend's house.  In the early years it was Nickelodeon.  During my teenage years it was all about MTV.

I made it through several seasons of the Real World.  I watched actual music videos (they used to have those on MTV back then).  I watched Carson Daly on TRL.  I even watched Singled Out with Jenny McCarthy.  My absolute favorite though was the Real World/Road Rules Challenge...which brings me to today.

I still watch this show.  "What?" you say, "this show is not still on the air, it had to have been cancelled 10 years ago"  It has not been cancelled and I haven't missed a season since it began 13 years ago.  I love it!!  I have a weak spot for any show that includes some kind of elimination.  For the past several years, like clockwork, this show has premiered in September with all of the other network fall shows.  However, as I was watching TV in the middle of the night, I happened upon a commercial previewing the next season of the Challenge that is starting next week!  Yes!!

The best part is that they still have some of your old favorites on this show.  For example, this season includes Wes and Nehemiah (Real World Austin 2005), Aneesa (Real World Chicago 2002), Robin (Real World San Diego 2004), and my favorite: CT (Real World Paris 2003).

In order to keep things fresh they keep changing the rules for how the show works.  It is always very confusing (i.e. there are 3 teams, two of which play each other, the winner votes for a loser from the third team, and the loser votes for a winner from the losing team and then you arm wrestle to see who goes to the elimination round and then you vote for which person's mom is the nicest, unless you have immunity) but they still find a way to back stab each other and form alliances.  Quite entertaining.  I highly recommend this show for your summer viewing.

The Bachelorette - A Letter to Ashley

This week wasn't the most exciting episode but it did have some good moments.  Like Ashley, I was surprised at Ames' personality.  He seemed really nice and down to earth!  After hearing his profile during episode 1, with all of his ivy league degrees and travels to millions of different countries, I guess I assumed he was going to be hoity toity.  (Side note: the auto correct spelling of "hoity toity" is "Haiti toothy" hehe).  He dresses like he is fresh off the set of a 1950s movie where people are in the army but also spontaneously break into song and dance.  In conclusion, he really does seem like a nice guy but is probably too smart for ol' Ashley.

The best quote of the evening came from Ryan.  When he was accused of being a bit too energetic his response was, "...you can't hang with the fact that I'm freakin' happy a lot? I'm sorry I'm not grumpy."  Yes, that is an exact quote and no I cannot hang with that fact.  The remainder of his speech contained the word "freakin'" about 7 more times and made a random reference to the military.  I liked Ryan at the beginning of the season but this episode makes me think that Ashley shouldn't give this guy a freakin' rose next week.

And now....a letter to the bachelorette herself:

Dear Ashley,
Hey girl!  Sup?  Listen, we need to talk about the Bentley situation.

A couple of things on that subject just so we are on the same page:

1.  You met this dude 2 weeks ago. 

2.  You did not go on a date with him.

3.  You spent probably a total of 1 hour alone together (with cameras in your face)

I realize that at this point in your life you are not aware of the truly awful things he said about you behind your back.  That's not even what bothers me.  The issue is that you are claiming (over and over and over) that you are in a "really dark place" because Bentley left.  Really?  I mean, really?  Don't you think this is a little dramatic?  I get that you are sad but you KEEP bringing it up.  I am not exactly what you would call a dating expert (having only gone on a date with one person) but I still question how you can be this much in love with a guy after basically no time at all.  I'm not saying you can't be upset.  Believe me, you are going to be a lot more upset once you hear what he said.  You just need to stop talking about it all the time.  It is annoying and depressing and pretty soon even Ryan is going to get freakin' grouchy.  Oh, also, thanks for getting rid of West.  He was a bit creepy.  Good luck and I'm excited for next week where you apparently come face to face with your lovey again (probably just to find out that he is not so much a lovey after all).

Adieu,

Karen