Monday, January 2, 2012

The Bachelor Premiere and a Letter to Anna

It's that time again.  The time of year when we all argue with ourselves about whether or not we are going to watch this season of The Bachelor.  First you say to yourself, "no, I'm not watching it.  The Bachelor is so incredibly dumb and cheesy I WILL NOT waste any more of my life or brain cells watching this dumb dumb show."  Then you begin to see previews for the premiere and you start to reconsider, "oh yeah, I did feel pretty sorry for Ben last season.  I do kind of want him to end up happy.  No, no, no!!!  Don't give in!  This is how they get us.  They recycle the same people so you keep watching.  I WILL NOT watch."  Then it is the night of the first show and the only other thing on TV is the 400th football game of the week or Suzanne Somers on the home shopping network so you think, "ok, I'll just watch this episode, just to see if there are any interesting people but I definitely won't tell anyone that I am watching" and BOOM, you're hooked.  And you find yourself blogging about this dumb show again.

A few notes from Episode 1:

What is the deal with Lindzi and Lyndsie spelling their names like that?  Yes, I realize their parents named them but still.  What is the world coming to?

Lots of fake eyelashes this season.  Is the competition really so fierce that women now must resort to adding extra pieces of hair to their faces?  In 200 years anthropologists are going to be very confused by the fake eyelash trend.

"Babe, Welcome to Dumpsville, population YOU".  There is no way that actually happened.

I realized during this episode, as I was completely zoning out, that the sit down with Chris Harrison just before the limos pull up is the exact same conversation on every season.  Here are some of the highlights (if you think back to ANY of the previous bachelors and bachelorettes you will agree that it is the same): "when I was on the show last season the emotions were real; I was hurt but I learned a lot about myself and now I'm really ready to open up and give love a chance; yes, if I find the right person I think I will be in a place to propose at the end of this journey, blah blah blah"

I choose not to comment on the Carrie Bradshaw love blogger girl crying in the bathroom or the ponytail girl getting a little too friendly with the girl with big teeth.

And now...A letter to Anna:

Dear Anna,

(slow clap)  Nice.  Nice.  Although it didn't end up working out for you, walking straight past Ben without introducing yourself or saying anything at all was a very creative move.  I tip my (gigantic Kentucky Derby) hat to you.

Karen

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