The last three gentlemen turned into three and a half with the return of Ryan. I kind of wonder why the producers let him come back. It seems like that is not a good precedent to set for the show if any ol' random dismissed contestant can come back and stalk the bachelorette.
The first date was with Ben. Like most of the dates with Ben, this one was pretty boring. Lots of talk about how they are connecting and building on their relationship yada, yada, yada. The sultry sunscreen rubbing scene was..uh..interesting? My favorite line of this part of the show was when Ashley said (regarding the fantasy suite), "I'm hoping Ben will SHOW me how he feels". Hello! At least she isn't trying to pretend that the fantasy suite is anything other than a place to do the dirty. Some past bachelors and bachelorettes have tried to play up the fact that this is the only time they have together away from cameras to really "talk". If "talking" was the actual intent of the fantasy suite, then they could just as easily have a fantasy canoe or a fantasy game of pinochle.
Just like last week with Ames, we all knew that Constantine would be departing this week, just not necessarily like that. My theory is that Constantine's buddies dared him to try out for the show. Once he got on he figured he might as well go through with it because it was basically an all expense paid vacation. Then, Ashley started to like him and he realized he better get out before it gets too awkward. I think what he did is perfectly respectable. Bye Constantine! You were nice but you DO need to get rid of the euro-mullet, like you said.
The date with JP was more of the same that always happens at this phase of the show: "I'm falling in love with her, our relationship is so strong, I can't wait for the end, I can really see a future between us". Boring. Anyone else notice that JP was rockin' some sweet mandals at the rose ceremony?
And now, another letter to Ryan:
Dear Ryan,
I know YOU thought coming back to the show was so romantic. However, WE thought it was sad...and not a good kind of sad, more of a pathetic kind of sad. At the beginning of the show, were you walking all the way across Fiji? My goodness, you seemed to be walking forever. I hated in your interview, before Ashely dumped you for a second time, how you were saying you really feel a connection between the two of you. If she had felt the same thing she most likely would not have sent you packing. Does she need to hire protection to keep you away from her house or have you finally taken the hint? Good luck to you buddy. Hopefully you can find that special someone to be overly energetic with all the time.
This is the last time I want to write to you,
Karen
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
The Bachelorette: Meet the Parents
Usually at this point in the season there is still at least one super annoying person that you can't wait to see go home. That is not the case this time. I really like all 4 of the guys she had left going into this episode.
Constantine
I guess when Constantine said he was a restaurant owner I was expecting a posh downtown eatery with no open reservations for weeks. Instead, "Giorgio's" looked like it was in a strip mall. Not that there is anything wrong with that, just not what I was expecting. Their date started with the Bachelor franchise mandatory running-start hug. I can't remember the last time one of the home town dates started without the girl and guy running toward each other and ending in a hug. Why do they always get dropped off so far away? Can't the car or airport shuttle just drop the Bachelorette off right where her date is standing? I have a sneaking suspicion that Constantine's family was hired from the set of My Big Fat Greek Wedding. They all seemed to have a lot of fun and I definitely laughed when his dad started "makin' it rain" with dollar bills. That was kind of random.
Ben
Ben really put the pressure on Ashley by immediately declaring that if his family didn't like her, then he was out. Most of the families seemed very welcoming even though they had reservations about the whole scenario. Ben's mother and sister didn't come off quite so welcoming and instead appeared overly protective and a bit unfriendly. You know how people sometimes talk about the ugly cry? Like when you are crying really hard and your face gets all contorted and you look hideous? Whatever the opposite of the ugly cry is, that is what Ben was doing in his interview. Maybe I will coin the term beautiful weep. So Ben was totally beautiful weeping with the slowly falling tear drops and the increased blinking. If Ashley doesn't choose him at the end of this, that interview alone will have ladies lined up around the block.
Ames
Oh Ames. Sweet Ames. What a nice guy. It was so obvious that she admired him more than she was attracted to him. His sister seemed to be talking to Ashley for like 5 hours which definitely cut into Ames' one-on-one time. His magnolia tree picnic and description of Renaissance era romance was so sweet but you could tell she just wasn't feeling it.
JP
Based on this episode, I have come to the conclusion that every skating rink around the country looks EXACTLY the same. Ashley has really, really tiny feet. Did you notice the size of her skates? I think they were Barbie size. She had a case of "make-out chin" (definition: where a girl's chin gets all red from making out with a guy with a beard or stubble) happening while she and JP were talking at the rink. That picture of JP from his bar mitzvah was awesome.
Rose Ceremony
This one was hard to watch. Actually, I had to look away when it got down to the last two. We all knew Ames was going home, well, all of us except for Ames. I hate when they keep cutting the camera to the poor sap waiting to see if he is getting that last rose. And he is standing there smiling like a doofus. At least Ashley gave him a nice goodbye handshake (awkward) when they were sitting on that bench. And why is the pavement in front of that mansion ALWAYS wet?
Rumor has it that Ames is going to be on Bachelor Pad so that's at least something.
Constantine
I guess when Constantine said he was a restaurant owner I was expecting a posh downtown eatery with no open reservations for weeks. Instead, "Giorgio's" looked like it was in a strip mall. Not that there is anything wrong with that, just not what I was expecting. Their date started with the Bachelor franchise mandatory running-start hug. I can't remember the last time one of the home town dates started without the girl and guy running toward each other and ending in a hug. Why do they always get dropped off so far away? Can't the car or airport shuttle just drop the Bachelorette off right where her date is standing? I have a sneaking suspicion that Constantine's family was hired from the set of My Big Fat Greek Wedding. They all seemed to have a lot of fun and I definitely laughed when his dad started "makin' it rain" with dollar bills. That was kind of random.
Ben
Ben really put the pressure on Ashley by immediately declaring that if his family didn't like her, then he was out. Most of the families seemed very welcoming even though they had reservations about the whole scenario. Ben's mother and sister didn't come off quite so welcoming and instead appeared overly protective and a bit unfriendly. You know how people sometimes talk about the ugly cry? Like when you are crying really hard and your face gets all contorted and you look hideous? Whatever the opposite of the ugly cry is, that is what Ben was doing in his interview. Maybe I will coin the term beautiful weep. So Ben was totally beautiful weeping with the slowly falling tear drops and the increased blinking. If Ashley doesn't choose him at the end of this, that interview alone will have ladies lined up around the block.
Ames
Oh Ames. Sweet Ames. What a nice guy. It was so obvious that she admired him more than she was attracted to him. His sister seemed to be talking to Ashley for like 5 hours which definitely cut into Ames' one-on-one time. His magnolia tree picnic and description of Renaissance era romance was so sweet but you could tell she just wasn't feeling it.
JP
Based on this episode, I have come to the conclusion that every skating rink around the country looks EXACTLY the same. Ashley has really, really tiny feet. Did you notice the size of her skates? I think they were Barbie size. She had a case of "make-out chin" (definition: where a girl's chin gets all red from making out with a guy with a beard or stubble) happening while she and JP were talking at the rink. That picture of JP from his bar mitzvah was awesome.
Rose Ceremony
This one was hard to watch. Actually, I had to look away when it got down to the last two. We all knew Ames was going home, well, all of us except for Ames. I hate when they keep cutting the camera to the poor sap waiting to see if he is getting that last rose. And he is standing there smiling like a doofus. At least Ashley gave him a nice goodbye handshake (awkward) when they were sitting on that bench. And why is the pavement in front of that mansion ALWAYS wet?
Rumor has it that Ames is going to be on Bachelor Pad so that's at least something.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Curb Your Enthusiasm
Several years ago, when I had HBO the first time, I got absolutely hooked on Curb Your Enthusiasm. If you like Seinfeld, you have to like Curb because it is basically the same concept except with different characters. It has been a few seasons since I have watched, mostly due to the fact that I have been without HBO.
The new season started last week so I decided to jump back in and see if I could follow the story. I forgot how much I love this show!! So funny. After I finished the season premiere I immediately went back and watched every episode available On Demand which sadly was only five.
The best surprise of the last season was the Seinfeld story line. Curb Your Enthusiasm follows Larry David, creator of Seinfeld, as he lives his life as Larry David, the creator of Seinfeld. One of the story lines from last season was a fictional Seinfeld reunion show including all of the actors from Seinfeld playing themselves. So over the course of a few episodes you basically get a real life Seinfeld reunion. We find out that George went on to invent the iToilet app which allows the user to find the nearest acceptable public toilet. He then loses his fortune in the Bernie Madoff ponzi scheme. Kramer is still Kramer and Elaine has a daughter thanks to a "donation" (wink, wink) from Jerry.
If you are a Seinfeld fan, and you haven't had a chance to watch Curb Your Enthusiasm, add it to your Netflix queue. You won't be disappointed.
The new season started last week so I decided to jump back in and see if I could follow the story. I forgot how much I love this show!! So funny. After I finished the season premiere I immediately went back and watched every episode available On Demand which sadly was only five.
The best surprise of the last season was the Seinfeld story line. Curb Your Enthusiasm follows Larry David, creator of Seinfeld, as he lives his life as Larry David, the creator of Seinfeld. One of the story lines from last season was a fictional Seinfeld reunion show including all of the actors from Seinfeld playing themselves. So over the course of a few episodes you basically get a real life Seinfeld reunion. We find out that George went on to invent the iToilet app which allows the user to find the nearest acceptable public toilet. He then loses his fortune in the Bernie Madoff ponzi scheme. Kramer is still Kramer and Elaine has a daughter thanks to a "donation" (wink, wink) from Jerry.
If you are a Seinfeld fan, and you haven't had a chance to watch Curb Your Enthusiasm, add it to your Netflix queue. You won't be disappointed.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
The Bachelorette - Down to 4 and a Letter to Ryan
This episode started with Constantine and Ashley hopping on the Hogwarts Express to get to their date. There were a lot of references to hopes and dreams and wishes this week beginning with Constantine and Ashley writing their hopes for the future on that lantern thing. I hope everybody stuck around at the end of the show to see the clip of the dog peeing on their lantern. They should put that kind of thing in the actual episode instead of tacking it on at the end as an outtake.
The next date was with Ben and it was so boring that I already forgot what they did. Oh yeah, mopeds. Yawn.
Date number 3 was the always uncomfortable group date. Those were some of the worst photos ever. I think my junior prom pictures looked more professional than that. The backdrop they used for the JP and Ashley pictures looked like it had been wadded up in a closet for a year. It had all of the lines showing from where it was folded. That was funny. I did learn a few things on that date though: 1) JP says the f-word a lot. 2) Ames has a "unique" sense of style. I think he felt right at home in the peach ruffled see through shirt and pale blue rhinestone tuxedo.
And now, a letter to Ryan.
Dearest Ryan,
Hey there! How are the solar panels? Good? Great. Listen, sorry you got dumped. I guess those magic apple slice shaped pieces of metal that you threw on the ground were right. I know you were "really falling for her" even though that was technically your first date. You took all of your criticism pretty well which is good since people were criticizing you for always being in a good mood. A little pointer, perhaps a 10 minute story about hot water heaters is not the best or most romantic thing for a first date. I could be wrong, but I think when Ashley asked for a tip on being more green she was looking for something along the lines of "bring your own bag to the grocery store" not a history of water heaters and their function in the home. I did feel extra sorry for you when they had you walk all around the city looking sad after you got booted. That must have been very depressing.
Regards,
Karen
The next date was with Ben and it was so boring that I already forgot what they did. Oh yeah, mopeds. Yawn.
Date number 3 was the always uncomfortable group date. Those were some of the worst photos ever. I think my junior prom pictures looked more professional than that. The backdrop they used for the JP and Ashley pictures looked like it had been wadded up in a closet for a year. It had all of the lines showing from where it was folded. That was funny. I did learn a few things on that date though: 1) JP says the f-word a lot. 2) Ames has a "unique" sense of style. I think he felt right at home in the peach ruffled see through shirt and pale blue rhinestone tuxedo.
And now, a letter to Ryan.
Dearest Ryan,
Hey there! How are the solar panels? Good? Great. Listen, sorry you got dumped. I guess those magic apple slice shaped pieces of metal that you threw on the ground were right. I know you were "really falling for her" even though that was technically your first date. You took all of your criticism pretty well which is good since people were criticizing you for always being in a good mood. A little pointer, perhaps a 10 minute story about hot water heaters is not the best or most romantic thing for a first date. I could be wrong, but I think when Ashley asked for a tip on being more green she was looking for something along the lines of "bring your own bag to the grocery store" not a history of water heaters and their function in the home. I did feel extra sorry for you when they had you walk all around the city looking sad after you got booted. That must have been very depressing.
Regards,
Karen
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Toddlers & Tiaras
I have seen this show a couple of times in the past but will mostly be reviewing the episode I saw the other night. If you don't know anything about the show, it follows 3 or 4 pageant contestants and their parents as they prepare for a specific pageant. This episode was the Southern Celebrity pageant. I found it interesting that the Southern Celebrity pageant was held in the quintessential southern town of Chicago.
There are 2 kinds of pageants: natural and glitz. Natural pageants are a little more toned down where the kids wear makeup but not Tammy Faye Bakker amounts of makeup. The Southern Celebrity pageant was a glitz pageant so the girls were expected to really do it up big with fake hair, fake teeth, fake tans and super bedazzled outfits. One of the mothers claimed that there are "tons and tons of rumors that my daughter can't do glitz pageants". My first question would have to be, who are these people taking the time to spread rumors about the glitz-ability of your elementary age daughter? Clearly there is a seedy underworld of rumor spreading associated with children's beauty circuit.
In order to prepare for the big day, each of the featured contestants went in for a spray tan and tamed their brows. One of the little girls cried as her mother ripped her eyebrow hairs right out of her face with a pair of tweezers. The loving mother soothed her daughter by saying, "that's what you get for shaving your eyebrows for two years". Just to be clear, I assume it was not so much the daughter who was shaving her own eyebrows but more likely the mother shaving the little girl's eyebrows because to be a true pageant princess you mustn't have a unibrow!
This episode also featured a very special contestant, Brock. The first thing Brock's mother said to the camera was "Brock is a diva". Brock, by the way, is a boy. It was clear to me (and his mother echoed this statement) that Brock is just Brock. I will not make fun of this kid because I fear he gets a lot of that. I will, however, give you a few facts about him.
1. Brock takes his dolls, Lexie and Rebecca, with him everywhere. He said Lexie is like him because she has a lot of sparkle.
2. Brock LOVES dancing. He hopes to be on Broadway.
3. Brock was the only male contestant. When he won, he was given the choice between the boy's crown and the girl's crown...he chose the girl's crown.
About pageants in general:
I don't understand why the style of smiling and walking and winking and dancing that takes place in pageants is considered desirable. If I walked around my everyday life winking at people and smiling without blinking they would put me in the psych ward. Maybe as an experiment I will spend an entire day walking with my arms out at a 30 degree angle (so as not to crinkle my gigantic skirt) and kiss my index finger and point it at people. Perhaps someone will give me an enormous gaudy crown. More likely they will move away from me as quickly as possible.
There are 2 kinds of pageants: natural and glitz. Natural pageants are a little more toned down where the kids wear makeup but not Tammy Faye Bakker amounts of makeup. The Southern Celebrity pageant was a glitz pageant so the girls were expected to really do it up big with fake hair, fake teeth, fake tans and super bedazzled outfits. One of the mothers claimed that there are "tons and tons of rumors that my daughter can't do glitz pageants". My first question would have to be, who are these people taking the time to spread rumors about the glitz-ability of your elementary age daughter? Clearly there is a seedy underworld of rumor spreading associated with children's beauty circuit.
In order to prepare for the big day, each of the featured contestants went in for a spray tan and tamed their brows. One of the little girls cried as her mother ripped her eyebrow hairs right out of her face with a pair of tweezers. The loving mother soothed her daughter by saying, "that's what you get for shaving your eyebrows for two years". Just to be clear, I assume it was not so much the daughter who was shaving her own eyebrows but more likely the mother shaving the little girl's eyebrows because to be a true pageant princess you mustn't have a unibrow!
This episode also featured a very special contestant, Brock. The first thing Brock's mother said to the camera was "Brock is a diva". Brock, by the way, is a boy. It was clear to me (and his mother echoed this statement) that Brock is just Brock. I will not make fun of this kid because I fear he gets a lot of that. I will, however, give you a few facts about him.
1. Brock takes his dolls, Lexie and Rebecca, with him everywhere. He said Lexie is like him because she has a lot of sparkle.
2. Brock LOVES dancing. He hopes to be on Broadway.
3. Brock was the only male contestant. When he won, he was given the choice between the boy's crown and the girl's crown...he chose the girl's crown.
About pageants in general:
I don't understand why the style of smiling and walking and winking and dancing that takes place in pageants is considered desirable. If I walked around my everyday life winking at people and smiling without blinking they would put me in the psych ward. Maybe as an experiment I will spend an entire day walking with my arms out at a 30 degree angle (so as not to crinkle my gigantic skirt) and kiss my index finger and point it at people. Perhaps someone will give me an enormous gaudy crown. More likely they will move away from me as quickly as possible.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
James Spader joins "The Office"
I, for one, am not too concerned that Steve Carell left The Office. I think they have enough quirkiness left over to sustain the laughs. I am a loyal fan of The Office and have stuck with it through highs and lows. The season finale with the parade of celebrities was a high for some and a low for others.
I love James Spader. Alan Shore from Boston Legal is arguably one of the best characters in the history of television. He brings new meaning to the term quirky and is a big ball of weird. After months of speculation NBC finally announced that Spader will be joining the cast this fall. Rumor has it that he will start as branch manager in Scranton and then almost immediately move to corporate to take over for Jo.
I think the best part about James Spader is that he has all of America convinced that the characters he often plays on TV and in movies is how he is in real life. Can someone really be that creepy and uncomfortable? On behalf of the remaining fans of The Office I humbly welcome Spader in his role as Robert California and am hoping he will have lots of screen time!!
I love James Spader. Alan Shore from Boston Legal is arguably one of the best characters in the history of television. He brings new meaning to the term quirky and is a big ball of weird. After months of speculation NBC finally announced that Spader will be joining the cast this fall. Rumor has it that he will start as branch manager in Scranton and then almost immediately move to corporate to take over for Jo.
I think the best part about James Spader is that he has all of America convinced that the characters he often plays on TV and in movies is how he is in real life. Can someone really be that creepy and uncomfortable? On behalf of the remaining fans of The Office I humbly welcome Spader in his role as Robert California and am hoping he will have lots of screen time!!
Sunday, July 3, 2011
HBO and Game of Thrones
Recently a friend told me about HBO GO. I am a little ashamed that I hadn't already heard about it since I claim to be a TV addict and this is the type of thing a TV addict should know about. If you are unaware of the greatness of HBO GO let me enlighten you. If you have HBO through your cable provider then you can sign in to HBO GO on your computer/phone/ipad etc. and stream any episode of any original HBO series. Yes folks, it's true. You can watch The Sopranos, Entourage, Boardwalk Empire, True Blood, Eastbound and Down, Extras and so on at the touch of a button. Plus tons of movies are available as well.
We immediately called Time Warner to reinstate our HBO service. We have been without HBO for some time now because "we" (my husband) cancelled our service the day after the series finale of The Sopranos. Within minutes we were able to watch HBO on our TV. Hurrah! I got out my ipad to set up the HBO GO service only to find that Time Warner cable is NOT one of the providers that supports HBO GO. Boooooo!! Disappointment day.
Luckily, HBO has been reshowing the entire first season of their new show Game of Thrones. I had been hearing buzz about this show but didn't know much about it other than Boromir from Lord of the Rings was one of the main characters. I decided to give it a go, especially since the first season only has 10 episodes so it wouldn't take too long to get caught up.
Much like any other HBO series, there is an abundance of violence, swearing and naked ladies. If you can get past some of that, Game of Thrones is quite enthralling. I'm only 6 episodes in, but I can't wait to finish the season. Peter Dinklage is fantastic.
The top 3 most shocking/uncomfortable/squirm worthy scenes so far:
1. Gregor Clegane, also known as "The Mountain", loses a joust. "The Mountain" is (supposed to be) over 8 feet tall and is not used to losing battles. In a fit of rage he uses his sword to chop off the head of his horse. Lots of blood spurting everywhere.
2. The Queen is caught doing the wonky donk with Jamie Lannister, who happens to be her BROTHER! Gross.
3. Probably the worst scene so far was when we first met Lysa Arryn and her son Robin. We see Lysa sitting on a throne breastfeeding her son. Ok, so breastfeeding in public is a little cringeworthy for some people but not completely shocking right? Well, it is if your son is 10 years old! I just keep thinking about the actor who plays little Robin. Certainly his friends know he is on this show and will want to watch him on TV. How embarrassing that this is his first scene. Ew. Actually, all of his scenes are a little bit creepy. Let's hope he is just a great actor rather than just a really creepy kid.
We immediately called Time Warner to reinstate our HBO service. We have been without HBO for some time now because "we" (my husband) cancelled our service the day after the series finale of The Sopranos. Within minutes we were able to watch HBO on our TV. Hurrah! I got out my ipad to set up the HBO GO service only to find that Time Warner cable is NOT one of the providers that supports HBO GO. Boooooo!! Disappointment day.
Luckily, HBO has been reshowing the entire first season of their new show Game of Thrones. I had been hearing buzz about this show but didn't know much about it other than Boromir from Lord of the Rings was one of the main characters. I decided to give it a go, especially since the first season only has 10 episodes so it wouldn't take too long to get caught up.
Much like any other HBO series, there is an abundance of violence, swearing and naked ladies. If you can get past some of that, Game of Thrones is quite enthralling. I'm only 6 episodes in, but I can't wait to finish the season. Peter Dinklage is fantastic.
The top 3 most shocking/uncomfortable/squirm worthy scenes so far:
1. Gregor Clegane, also known as "The Mountain", loses a joust. "The Mountain" is (supposed to be) over 8 feet tall and is not used to losing battles. In a fit of rage he uses his sword to chop off the head of his horse. Lots of blood spurting everywhere.
2. The Queen is caught doing the wonky donk with Jamie Lannister, who happens to be her BROTHER! Gross.
3. Probably the worst scene so far was when we first met Lysa Arryn and her son Robin. We see Lysa sitting on a throne breastfeeding her son. Ok, so breastfeeding in public is a little cringeworthy for some people but not completely shocking right? Well, it is if your son is 10 years old! I just keep thinking about the actor who plays little Robin. Certainly his friends know he is on this show and will want to watch him on TV. How embarrassing that this is his first scene. Ew. Actually, all of his scenes are a little bit creepy. Let's hope he is just a great actor rather than just a really creepy kid.
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