The Challenge: Rivals - Same Stuff Different Season

When I got back from vacation and checked my DVR I was ecstatic to find that the first episode of Rivals was waiting for me!  I had forgotten that the premiere was one while I was gone.  If you remember from my earlier post I LOVE this show.  I guess Real World/Road Rules Challenge was too much of a mouthful because for the past several years it has been shortened to simply "The Challenge" with some tag to designate the season: rivals, cutthroat, fresh meat, the gauntlet etc.

The first episode was all I had hoped for and more!  The contestants show up and immediately find out that  they will be in teams of two and that their partner will be none other than their biggest rival (hence the name of the show).  Host TJ Lavin then went on to explain the rules of the show, which, as I predicted, were confusing and complicated.

What is always baffling to me is how the same situations happen season after season even though the people keep changing.  It's as if none of the returning contestants remember what happened in previous seasons and none of the new players bothered to watch the show before coming on it.

Example #1: On the very first night everyone gets completely trashed.  This has never not happened.  One of the rookie players got pulled into an argument with another guy who was making fun of him.  Everyone in the house is holding the rookie back and telling him to just let it go, but does he listen?  No.  He punches the other guy and immediately gets sent home.  Dummy.  I have gone my entire life without punching anyone, he couldn't even make it 24 hours.  While running to punch the other guy he also manages to knock over one of the girls who lands on her head on the concrete floor.

Example #2: Mandi (who is relatively new to the show, I think this is her third season) starts talking to CT and flirting with him.  Then in her confessional segment, she starts talking about how CT is so hot and how she likes him a lot yada yada yada.  Obviously she has never seen CT on television before.  If they pieced together all of the MTV clips of CT when he was not drunk, or punching someone, or yelling at someone or being completely misogynistic, they would have about 5 minutes worth of material.  Should be interesting to see what happens there but I have a pretty good guess it isn't going to go well.

Example #3: Robin and Aneesa, who have to be in their sixties by now with all of the challenges they have done, are targeted to go into the jungle round.  The argument is that they are a strong team and are "the only ones who have a chance" of taking out powerhouse Evelyn who lost the challenge and has to go to elimination with her partner Paula.  (Are you still with me?)  Anyway, Robin and Aneesa are shocked that people are plotting against them instead volunteering to go into the elimination themselves.  Hello.  First of all, they have both done that about a hundred times to other people.  Also, when has anyone ever volunteered to go into the elimination especially on the first episode?  It's just silly.

So not a lot has changed from last season, or the season before that or the season before that.  I guess if you add alcohol to a house full of dummies you are always going to end up with a bunch of crazy people.

The Bachelorette - dot, dot, dot and a letter to Blake

To me, this was the week of awkwardness: awkward kisses, awkward silences, awkward conversations and awkward reactions. Let's start with the kisses. Lucas started off the weirdness by saying to Ashley, "I'm going to kiss you. Do you mind?". That totally ruined the moment if there even was a moment at all. Next was Ames and the uncomfortable elevator kiss which was made worse with the cheesy Kung Fu movie music playing in the background. Then there was Ben. He leaned in for the kiss, then stopped mid-lean, then moved forward again, then stopped and finally planted one on target. Seems like the only non-awkward kiss of the night was with JP. I guess I lost count after that but she was making out with at least 4 different guys in the span of about 3 days. Classy.

What was going on with all of the see-through shirts?  Is that a fashion trend that I just don't know about?  I understand maybe one or two, but Ashley wore like thirty seven see-through shirts this week.  Speaking of shirts, did anyone else notice that Ames was wearing a button up collared shirt with another button up collared shirt on top of it?  

Other thoughts...

I never want to hear the phrase "dot, dot, dot" ever again.

Sheesh, they sure overreacted about the Bentley thing.  I found it amusing that Blake was ok with her dating seven other guys, but eight, eight was too many.  Lucas better get the boot next week.  I bet if she hadn't already given him a rose she would have sent him home.

I recently noticed that most of the dinners on the dates take place on the floor.  Rarely are they sitting at a real table.  I bet they have to be careful with the camera angles so that they don't get any shots of people's butt cracks.

And now, a brief letter to Blake:

Dear Blake,
Maybe if you had spent more time with Ashley and less time talking about Ryan you might still be on the show.

Bye,
Karen

The Killing - Season Finale

AMC’s "The Killing" is based on a Danish show called Forbrydelsen.  I guess they thought Forbrydelsen wasn't catchy enough for the American audience.  Unlike most crime dramas, it stays with the same crime for the entire season instead of solving a different case every episode.  This series was intriguing to me from the beginning because it follows the police investigation as well as the lives of the families and all of the suspects.  The first couple of episodes were really great.  The plot kept you captivated by throwing you plenty of juicy pieces of evidence.  I've been around my fair share of crime shows and I am smart enough to know that the first suspect (or in this case the first several) is never guilty.  Toward the middle of the season there were some boring episodes but overall the show was pretty entertaining.

The protagonist of the show is detective Sarah Linden played by Mireille Enos.  Since she is the main character, I assume she is the protagonist but I never really liked her.  Her whole back story is that she is trying to leave town to marry this guy but she can't pull herself away from this one last case.  Come on lady!  You seriously wouldn't miss that many planes and waste all of that money on last minute airfare, especially on a police detective salary.  Also, she consistently has her hair in my second to least favorite style:  a slick back ponytail with no part.  (For those who are interested, my number one least favorite hairstyle is cornrows braided backwards with long wisps down the neck).

So, knowing that this was the season finale, I was excited to find out once and for all who  killed Rosie Larson!  Last week they dropped the bomb that councilman Darren Richmond was the lead suspect and this episode was spent trying to find sufficient evidence to prove he did it.  I was a little disappointed that he turned out to be the killer but was glad they were wrapping things up.  But wait!!  What's that?  We find out in the last 2 minutes that the evidence was fake?  Then Belko, played by Brendan Sexton III (side note: my now deceased family cat was named after his role in Empire Records as Warren) walks up to the councilman as he is being put into a police car, pulls out a gun and BOOM!  Gunshot!  Black screen!

I HATE this.  I hate that I waited all season to find out who the killer was and then just when I thought I did, they leave it all open ended.  I hate that now I have to wait for almost a whole year for the next episode and will definitely forget all of the details between now and then.  I especially hate that last time I checked, AMC hadn't even agreed to pick up the show for a second season.  So I guess we may never know who killed Rosie.   

NBC's The Voice

What happened?  This show started out really strong:  neat premise, a ton of talented singers and cool chairs that spin around.  Just like the normal trend for NBC shows, The Voice is going downhill fast.  The singers that are left are terrible.  Terrible.  In the battle rounds they kept sending home all of the talented people and leaving the weirdos.  The most entertaining part of the show is Adam Levine's burning hatred for Christina Aguilera which he doesn't even attempt to conceal.  Christina keeps wearing more and more makeup and hair extensions when she should be wearing less and less.  Cee Lo debuted a pedophile style mustache this week and took all of the members of his team to a spa where they sat around in robes telling each other how great they all are.  I am quitting this show STAT.  If I had a fondness for country crooners or bald ladies I might stick it out, but I do not, so I shan't.

MTV's Real World/Road Rules Challenge

When I was growing up, I did not have cable television.  I was limited to NBC, CBS, ABC, Fox, PBS and "Channel 39" which seemed to only show episodes of Hogan's Heroes.  Sure, I still had TGIF, Charles in Charge, Saved by the Bell, ALF and other great family programs but I knew there were other shows out there calling my name.  If it was up to my mom, we would have just watched Matlock and Perry Mason all the time.  In order to get my cable TV fix I would have to go over to a friend's house.  In the early years it was Nickelodeon.  During my teenage years it was all about MTV.

I made it through several seasons of the Real World.  I watched actual music videos (they used to have those on MTV back then).  I watched Carson Daly on TRL.  I even watched Singled Out with Jenny McCarthy.  My absolute favorite though was the Real World/Road Rules Challenge...which brings me to today.

I still watch this show.  "What?" you say, "this show is not still on the air, it had to have been cancelled 10 years ago"  It has not been cancelled and I haven't missed a season since it began 13 years ago.  I love it!!  I have a weak spot for any show that includes some kind of elimination.  For the past several years, like clockwork, this show has premiered in September with all of the other network fall shows.  However, as I was watching TV in the middle of the night, I happened upon a commercial previewing the next season of the Challenge that is starting next week!  Yes!!

The best part is that they still have some of your old favorites on this show.  For example, this season includes Wes and Nehemiah (Real World Austin 2005), Aneesa (Real World Chicago 2002), Robin (Real World San Diego 2004), and my favorite: CT (Real World Paris 2003).

In order to keep things fresh they keep changing the rules for how the show works.  It is always very confusing (i.e. there are 3 teams, two of which play each other, the winner votes for a loser from the third team, and the loser votes for a winner from the losing team and then you arm wrestle to see who goes to the elimination round and then you vote for which person's mom is the nicest, unless you have immunity) but they still find a way to back stab each other and form alliances.  Quite entertaining.  I highly recommend this show for your summer viewing.

The Bachelorette - A Letter to Ashley

This week wasn't the most exciting episode but it did have some good moments.  Like Ashley, I was surprised at Ames' personality.  He seemed really nice and down to earth!  After hearing his profile during episode 1, with all of his ivy league degrees and travels to millions of different countries, I guess I assumed he was going to be hoity toity.  (Side note: the auto correct spelling of "hoity toity" is "Haiti toothy" hehe).  He dresses like he is fresh off the set of a 1950s movie where people are in the army but also spontaneously break into song and dance.  In conclusion, he really does seem like a nice guy but is probably too smart for ol' Ashley.

The best quote of the evening came from Ryan.  When he was accused of being a bit too energetic his response was, "...you can't hang with the fact that I'm freakin' happy a lot? I'm sorry I'm not grumpy."  Yes, that is an exact quote and no I cannot hang with that fact.  The remainder of his speech contained the word "freakin'" about 7 more times and made a random reference to the military.  I liked Ryan at the beginning of the season but this episode makes me think that Ashley shouldn't give this guy a freakin' rose next week.

And now....a letter to the bachelorette herself:

Dear Ashley,
Hey girl!  Sup?  Listen, we need to talk about the Bentley situation.

A couple of things on that subject just so we are on the same page:

1.  You met this dude 2 weeks ago. 

2.  You did not go on a date with him.

3.  You spent probably a total of 1 hour alone together (with cameras in your face)

I realize that at this point in your life you are not aware of the truly awful things he said about you behind your back.  That's not even what bothers me.  The issue is that you are claiming (over and over and over) that you are in a "really dark place" because Bentley left.  Really?  I mean, really?  Don't you think this is a little dramatic?  I get that you are sad but you KEEP bringing it up.  I am not exactly what you would call a dating expert (having only gone on a date with one person) but I still question how you can be this much in love with a guy after basically no time at all.  I'm not saying you can't be upset.  Believe me, you are going to be a lot more upset once you hear what he said.  You just need to stop talking about it all the time.  It is annoying and depressing and pretty soon even Ryan is going to get freakin' grouchy.  Oh, also, thanks for getting rid of West.  He was a bit creepy.  Good luck and I'm excited for next week where you apparently come face to face with your lovey again (probably just to find out that he is not so much a lovey after all).

Adieu,

Karen

The Bachelorette - Dummies and Jerks

After weeks of waiting, the Masked Man finally removed his industrial strength mask and said the most romantic line, "Hi, I'm Jeff."  haha.  They didn't even really show Ashley's reaction.  It cut to her interview thing where she said he was old looking.  We're going to miss you Jeff, and all of the stories about your 3-legged dog.  


This episode was all about the Bentley.  I am very confused with the whole Bentley situation.  There have been contestants in the past who have turned out "not to be there for the right reasons" but they at least pretended to like the bachelorette when they were talking to the camera.  So even if he was there to promote his business, who is going to want to support the business of a guy who says on national television that he wants someone to "tickle his pickle"?  Very classy.  I feel sorry for his daughter who is bound to see clips of this at some point.  I also feel sorry for her because her parents named her Cozy.  Good luck on your trampoline business Bentley...and also good luck getting a girlfriend in the future.  I hear Emily may be available now, I'm sure she was probably flattered by all of the compliments you gave HER while on a show about dating Ashley.


And now a letter to William:


Dear William,


William, William, William.  Sigh.  You really blew it buddy.  Let me break it down for you mistake by mistake.  Mistake #1: Thinking this was your big comedy break.  Usually, becoming a comedian takes more work than being on a reality dating show.  Don't expect to be roasting celebrities one month later...especially after bombing on stage.  Mistake #2 Bad joke choice.  Hey dummy, you know how when you are in a job interview and they ask what your weaknesses are?  And you are supposed to say things like "I work too hard and I care too much"?  That same principle applies to this situation.  You could have made fun of Ashley for being so petite or for being overly effusive, but no.  You made jokes about how all of the guys wish she wasn't there.  Smooth move, dummy.  Mistake #3 Telling her the only logical thing to do was for you to leave.  If you had been paying attention you would have realized that saying you were going to leave was the worst possible thing you could have said.  Ashley made it clear that one of her biggest fears was that the guys would show up hoping for Emily and then turn around and leave when they saw it was her.  So William, when you tried to smooth things over by saying the damage had been done and that you should probably just go home, you made it worse.  Luckily, she has a thing for cellular telephone salesmen and decided to keep you around to get a discount on her bill.  


Yours Truly,


Karen

Swamp People and SYTYCD

I had a rare bout of sleeplessness last night.  Usually I am able to fall asleep within 5 minutes of my head hitting the pillow.  I decided to watch some TV instead of just laying in bed staring at the ceiling.  My DVR options at 2:00 a.m. were English Premiere League soccer (no thank you), So You Think You Can Dance, and Swamp People.

Swamp People was recommended to me by my brother-in-law Reese.  I believe the exact quote was "if you are not watching Swamp People, you are missing the best show on TV".  While I won't go so far as to say it is the best show on TV it is pretty dang awesome.  If you aren't familiar with the show, it follows several different people in Louisiana who make a living by hunting in the swamps.  This is the second show in less than a week which has required subtitles for people who are technically speaking english.  Every person on this show was incredibly entertaining.  It is hard to pick a favorite.

These two ruggedly handsome gents are brothers Glenn and Mitchell.  They see no need for shoes when you are wading around in a marsh full of alligators and poisonous snakes.  This picture does not do justice to their overall awesomeness.  You have to hear their voices and see them up close to get the full picture.

This is the Edwards family.  The one on the right is Willy.  He is a swamper.  Best quote of the episode came from Willy when he said, "can't read much or nuthin'...can't spell, but in the basin I know just about everything there is to know to make a dollar."  He catches snakes with his bare hands, just reaches into the water or the bushes and grabs a snake.  He says he hopes that when (not if) the snake bites him it isn't too poisonous.

Go to your TV right now and set this show to record.  You will like it.

So You Think You Can Dance

 just two quick things:

1.  One of the girls who auditioned (she was a terrible dancer) is adamant that her father is the "real" Ringo Starr.  He claims he played drums on 4 of The Beatles albums and then sold his name to the Ringo Starr that we all know.  You can draw your own conclusions.  Here is a picture of the father and daughter:

2. After a string of female contestants made it through to Vegas one after another, the host  introduced the next segment saying that they finally had some masculinity with their next competitors.  This was followed by several male contestants who were all wearing either spandex biker shorts with a skimpy tank top or basically just underpants.